Afterthoughts...

It's been 2 weeks since we returned from Africa, and I've had a lot on my mind. Trying to take that "now what" feeling and do something with it. I have been trying to be prayerful about it, rather than jumping on something too quickly. I tend to make some decisions and then think about them later. And then again, there are things that I tend to sit on forever because I'm too chicken to move on an idea. It's a great combination of excited motivation and fear. Think of me as that kid who is jumping into a swimming pool for the very first time. Okay now!...oh wait....okay now....oh wait....

You get the idea. You've probably felt the exact same way.

So I've really missed blogging! I had such a great, reflective, therapeutic time writing each night and sharing with famiy and friends all of the amazing things God was putting before us on the trip. It was so easy to sit down and just put it out there! I've always loved journaling, always liked the idea of doing a blog, but always talked myself out of it. This time there was a clear purpose in journaling for others. I want very much to keep going with that, but I'm not sure why to write or what to write about...

I'm still not completely sure.

But the difference now is that I did it before, without batting an eye. Without over-analyzing it like I ALWAYS do!

So I text my friend Susan the other night and simply said "I miss blogging". I had spent the evening pondering the idea of starting another one and wondering, "who the heck is going to read this thing". The honest truth is that maybe no one. And that's okay. But I did have one person in mind.

I have a person in my life that my heart breaks for quite a bit. She is young, she is trying to find her way in life, and she reminds me a lot of myself when I was younger. She tries frequently, and desperately, to find her identity in someone else. To find her worth and purpose in someone else's life. She feels like she's not good enough, attractive enough, smart enough. But she is strong and wants to be helpful to others. She has a lot of love to give. She has moments of great happiness, success, and confidence. She seeks a better way. She believes in a Heavenly Father. But she does not yet have faith in Him.

So I'm sitting on my couch wondering if this is the person I meant to write for. She is single and often times just sad and discouraged. I've considered the "singles" audience before. I've scoured the Internet myself, looking for encouragement for my own singleness. I've found a few, but I'm often left wondering why there isn't more encouragement out there for singles. There are plenty of resources for dating advice, living a single life because that's what you've chosen, divorced, widowed, etc. And while all of those things have their place, what about the rest of us? Where is the encouragement for those who desire to find the one God intended for them, but are living life to the fullest? I KNOW those people are out there. I KNOW you are! And I want to hear your stories! I want to know what fun and exciting things you're doing in your life! Because, honestly, maybe I want to be doing them too! Lol

These are the thoughts running through my head when my phone rings. Susan called to catch up, and we got to talking about purpose (poor Susan is always trying to talk me off a ledge when I'm contemplating my purpose in life...she has endured many a conversaion). I start in on the blogging idea. What do I do? Who do I write for? Why do I write? Blah blah blah. Not having told her anything about what I had been thinking, she says "well you've always talked about writing for singles.

Now let me take a moment to clarify that this is the second time in the past 4 months that Susan has called me and voiced exactly what I was praying about. The last time, I ended up in South Africa! I often joke about God just needing to call me directly or send me an email about want He wants me to do. Apparently, He sends Susan.

And with that, I say thank you to all of you who have been reading this blog about South Africa! Because it's not about me, but about people. It's about hope and faith and the greater tapestry. I personally got a lot out of writing to you every evening, but I'm more interested in YOUR story. I have witnessed the ripple effect of simple acts of service and faith in Christ. And it gives me goosebumps! I just want to be a part of that in some way, if I can. I hope my next blog gives someone, somewhere, some joy and causes a tiny ripple. Because your small, everyday, routine stepping out and living life moments can have an impact on someone else in way that you could never dream up even if you tried. And you may never actually know about it. Someday when I go home to my Heavenly Father, I hope He shows me the flow chart of all of our stories! How cool would that be?!!!

If you would like to continue to follow my ramblings (haha...auto correct just tried to change that to rumblings. probably more like it.), then you can find me at thehopefultoter.blogspot.com

And here are some pictures. Because let's face it....that's really what you're after... :). These are some that Ally took at Khula!

God Bless!